go no more a-rovin'

the round tables in this comfortable room are made of white marbles. here by the window i sit and cast my eyes to the street. thinking of leo, mark, victor, you, and the uncertainties ahead of us all. on days like these i yearn for miracles to reduce these enduring appetites. i sip five cups of tea a day.

i recognise these streets quite well, although the faces unfamiliar to me are many. hmm... never mind. i know new faces come everyday. only a portion of what we see is to stay in our mind's journal anyway.

leo told me from his tower of song that his friends are long gone and his hair is grey, he aches in the places where he used to play. and he bade me farewell, not knowing when he'll be back again, and so on....

and victor said there are doors in his life that he never want to open again. but he also admitted it's difficult to deny they are there; and perhaps only right to open the sometimes. for when making resolutions, we need to look back on past mistakes. to be sure they are not repeated, but also to make better the return encounter. i appreciate his kind words. reminding me "to give love to those you care for, and a smile to those you don't. to be all things to all men but just yourself to yourself. be humble and human, but proud of what you are." thank you for tonight, victor.

it's nearly a closing time. i know you're out there. if friends in time be severed, someday here we will meet again. when you have time for me, you will find me here, watching from the window. writing from this marble table in this street. i return to leave you never.

the coin

ah, my coin will have just one face now.

bye-bye "two faces on the book" problem.

another lesson learned from this experience is got when i try to link the issue, again, with dark knight the movie.

isn't it interesting friends, that it is better to have one face than two. as long as the one you have suits different kinds of mask, just in case the drama you are about to perform requires you to play a role different than the usual one. nothing bad, just for the sake of the story.

two faces in a book

a friend asked me how it started that i have two accounts in the facebook. both under the same name. i said i dont know. in fact i didnt realise it at all. not until one day i failed to log in and discovered that my email username and password didnt match.

then i knew, that for sometimes i have been using two different keys to open and walk through two different doors, without even noticing that the interior landscapes of "the room" were not the same. i ignored them, and simply took it for granted that i have my two accounts in the facebook. two, which i thought were one.

and then in an ocassion, i checked my facebook, and as i looked at my profile's picture i saw the one appears there was not my usual picture. so i must have logged in to my alternate facebook account. and it was true. names of friends waiting in line for my approval, messages from last november which i didnt happen to read, plenty more stories and news that i left unchecked for a long while.

in that instance i felt sorry. first because for a long time i didnt reply - not even read - those messages, approved the invitations, and all other things that i was supposed to react to. and second, which is more important to me, because i was unconscious of my dual memberships.

can you imagine, it feels as if you comfortably forget what day or month it is. you simply walk into and walk out of an elevator, and you dont know if you arrived at the right stage or not. until you see the faces of those who care about you, looking at you with a rare look, asking, or rather confirming, that you are not exactly you.