the one that's coming next

it is about the time for me to revisit southeast asia, at least in thought if not in physical form. i have always been carrying the idea since the day i depart, and it seems that the interest have formed a more recognizable shape nowadays. a shape that's not always present. but when it is, there is an appetite to make it closer to me. it's like a warm pillow you find next to you when you wake up in the morning. you know you can't take it all day with you, but it feels justified to hug it for the last few seconds before you go taking shower.

as to revisit southeast asia, if the decision is made, it will bring further consequences. it's like many other decisions we make, basically. but to revisit it, even if merely in thought, has two contradictory directions. one leads me to additional works of reading and preparation to write something - hopefully; and the other one takes me to a state of temporary peace - also hopefully. which one comes first doest really matter. they both are like two next stops from this point to get to southeast asia. ah, what a curious roadmap.

i find the situation is challenging. the clock is ticking. each second comes and goes whether you are aware of it or not. night is getting longer. but sleeping time is not. i pray that before weekend comes i already have a clue.

oi, oi, oi...