two faces in a book

a friend asked me how it started that i have two accounts in the facebook. both under the same name. i said i dont know. in fact i didnt realise it at all. not until one day i failed to log in and discovered that my email username and password didnt match.

then i knew, that for sometimes i have been using two different keys to open and walk through two different doors, without even noticing that the interior landscapes of "the room" were not the same. i ignored them, and simply took it for granted that i have my two accounts in the facebook. two, which i thought were one.

and then in an ocassion, i checked my facebook, and as i looked at my profile's picture i saw the one appears there was not my usual picture. so i must have logged in to my alternate facebook account. and it was true. names of friends waiting in line for my approval, messages from last november which i didnt happen to read, plenty more stories and news that i left unchecked for a long while.

in that instance i felt sorry. first because for a long time i didnt reply - not even read - those messages, approved the invitations, and all other things that i was supposed to react to. and second, which is more important to me, because i was unconscious of my dual memberships.

can you imagine, it feels as if you comfortably forget what day or month it is. you simply walk into and walk out of an elevator, and you dont know if you arrived at the right stage or not. until you see the faces of those who care about you, looking at you with a rare look, asking, or rather confirming, that you are not exactly you.